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(Classified) Bill Defends Against Flesh-Eating (Classified) Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 106 seconds Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified). More coverage at: http://www.onion.com Related: news, politics |
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The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 182 seconds Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. Related: badass, capital, comedy, court, death, fake, funny, justice, law, news, penalty, punishment, satire, supreme |
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The Onion: 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 178 seconds Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts. Related: boy, breasts, children, comedy, funny, onion, scouts, teens, women |
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The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 180 seconds Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper. Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, politics, satire, voting |
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The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 161 seconds Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls. Related: brothers, comedy, cyrus, disney, funny, hannah, jonas, miley, montana, onion, teens |
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The Onion: Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 164 seconds Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: 2008, election, machines, onion, the, voting |
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YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 152 seconds YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit. Related: comedy, contest, fake, funny, news, onion, satire, youtube |
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Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 195 seconds Voting machine DRE700 came out of nowhere to defeat Barack Obama and John McCain and become the first machine president. Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, florida, funny, john, machine, mccain, news, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire, voting |
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Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Talk With Mike Greenman Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 225 seconds At a press conference today, the AGU announced it will not even acknowledge Mike Greenman until he begins dressing better and loses some weight. Related: comedy, dating, fake, funny, news, onion, relationships, satire, teens, women |
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Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 179 seconds World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: comedy, everquest, fake, funny, games, life, news, of, onion, online, pc, satire, second, warcraft, world |
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In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized? Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 198 seconds Panelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have distracted us from placating demons to ensure a bountiful harvest. Related: comedy, fake, funny, halloween, news, onion, satire |
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Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Presidency Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 178 seconds President Bush will seek to comfort victims of his presidency as they try to make sense of the destruction he has caused. Related: administration, bush, cheney, comedy, fake, funny, george, katrina, news, onion, satire |
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The Onion: '9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 167 seconds An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: 911, al, bush, center, cheney, comedy, conspiracy, fake, news, onion, qaeda, satire, theory, trade, world |
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Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 145 seconds For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: barack, clinton, election, hillary, john, mccain, obama, politics, president, voting |
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Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 168 seconds The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves. Related: barack, comedy, election, funny, obama, onion, president, satire |
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Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain's Base Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 186 seconds Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible. Related: 2008, barack, comedy, election, funny, john, mccain, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire |
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Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 125 seconds With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert. Related: bailout, business, comedy, fake, funny, money, news, onion, paulson, recession, satire |
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Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 161 seconds After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game. Related: brady, comedy, football, funny, giants, jacksonville, jaguars, manning, onion, satire, superbowl, tom |
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The Onion: Sources Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 148 seconds Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out. Related: all, comedy, cyrus, fake, funny, hannah, miley, montana, news, official, onion, over, parody, satire, start, video |
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The Onion: McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 159 seconds Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom. Related: barack, comedy, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire |
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The Onion: Gunman Kills 15 Potential Swing Voters Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 187 seconds The Obama campaign is cautiously optimistic after initial reports indicated that most of the people killed were registered Republicans. Related: barack, candidates, comedy, election, fake, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, president, satire |
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The Onion: Are We Giving Robots Too Much Power? Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 130 seconds Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: 1984, government, onion, power, robots, technology |
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The Onion: Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn Ever Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 132 seconds Experts advise that anyone venturing outdoors should be on the lookout for extremely crunchy leaves and winds as high as 12 mph. Related: comedy, disasters, fake, hurricane, natural, news, onion, satire, tornadao, weather |
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Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 142 seconds Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs. Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, politics, satire |
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The Onion: Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 164 seconds In this installment of Beyond The Facts, a precocious 8-year-old girl participates in grown-up politics by spreading smears and lies. Related: 2008, ad, attack, barack, comedy, election, funny, john, mccain, obama, onion, politics |
























